Upon reading this,(except the last few lines) I have to say that it is strangely close to the way things are coming to be in parts of the U.S.
That was a great post RS*, I wish I had more time to post back to it at the moment. The new Mini Coopers (ala BMW) are actually quite popular here, despite the fact that it’s an economy car that takes premium fuel, synthetic oils, and still likes to fall apart a bit too early. 
And yes, Amerika is certainly going down the insidious road to fascism! :lol: :evil:
http://www.phillyd.tv/wp-content/uploads/hitlers-diabolical-plan-30365-1253457156-130.jpg
Confirms what I was saying. It takes a gut Cherman to make decent British car.
I bought a Mini-Cooper S with John Cooper stage 2 factory tune in 2003 (still supercharged then), ( still got it in a garage in South Africa). It is frankly the most fun car I have ever owned. It outdragged almost anything from traffic light to traffic light including BMW M3 s up to 100Kph (thanks to the supercharger overcoming the 2000M altitude) and as for big-engined bangers–the best trick was to allow them to start tailgaiting into Freeway turnoff cloverleafs and then accelerate to maximum grip- the stability control just wouldn’t allow one to loose it! (big-banger sideways in the rear-view mirror) My only problems were that as my model was a special import the European rubber mix on the run-flat tyres would only last 8000km and the ‘leather’ steering wheel delaminated from sun-exposure. Otherwise it has always run like the Deutchbaan!
The only thing is that German cars enjoy a bit of a mixed reputation in America. They have fine (over) engineering and styling that is often negated by sometimes lackluster, or even poor, quality and reliability. Volkswagen is on the march to become the world’s largest car company, but they have yet to really come-on in the US market and enjoy something of a niche, or cult success here because their nice interiors often shoddily come apart after a few years (like on the previous body-style Passat). Or they forget to explain to consumers that by not using synthetic 5W-40 in their turbo engines, they risk coking and sludging the thing up and killing their cars, which of course VW takes the wrap for fair or not (which is why they now offer “free” maintenance at 10,000 mile intervals like BMW/Mini does)…
I am astonished (gobsmacked, even) to hear this. (Some Mercs and BMWs are assembled in the US of course and the VW could come from anywhere–Mexico, Czechslovakia, South Africa, China, South Africa etc). Your point about fuel is interesting. All the German models had short-term problems some years ago in South Africa when all pump petrol sold inland was an artificial “-Oil-from-coal” mix with some Ethanol additives, but that was quickly solved. I know that there are still problems with Diesel models in the rest of Africa because of shitty fuel.
I have a family member who has a stratospheric job with Audi (Germany) and he has just informed me that a few years ago they serious problems with the US dealer network–rotten mechanics, fraudulent servicing and, apparently ( I haven’t been to the US for years, so it’s hearsay) much of the Freeway network in the States is falling to bits, causing heightened suspension problems-- he says that this was solved some time back. ( But then he would wouldn’t he?).
Is the poor service, reliability compared to indigenous US models (if there is still such a thing) or to Jappo/Korean vehicles?
(BTW, the old-shape Passat–is that the B5? Had a bit of a history. Models were made in Bratislava, two German plants and Shanghai. I wonder which ones you got.)
I drive a Chrysler [now dodge] Sprinter van that is a German design.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mercedes-Benz_Sprinter
Its reliable and has great power for a diesel. The reliability is fine except when the computer malfunctioned we had to wait a month for a new one from Germany to be sent. My only real complaint is that the driver ergonomics are Spartan compared to some American designs.
The Chrysler Corp. mini van was produced to use up left over powertrains from the most illustrious “K” car. The design was purchased from Germany, off the rack. little did they know that the thing would take off like it did.
As I write—this just in
Mercedes Buy Braun F1
http://bleacherreport.com/tb/b1yJY
So who will be the new team manager?
New Mercedes Head will solve Reliability Questions with existing heads
After all, we wouldn’t know the Italian National Anthem if it wasn’t for Michael Schumacher, maybe Jensen can teach us
the ‘Ode to Joy’.
You are absolutely right, my dear Mr. Kato – alas, ours is an age in which the mass-produced has finally asserted its supremacy over the individually hand – wrought. The crafts, though far from dead, are kept alive as an absolute minority, and the practical idealists of engineering science, those tangible poets of technological rhymes many of whom remained anonymous, were unable to give a resolution of conflicts in the relationships between enlightened art and plain profits.
Yes, my daer Mr. Cato – the accountants took over the business and told the real people to keep their originality down. Cost considerations kept designs mediocre, and concentrated on planned obsolescence, preaching that our love affair with the automobile has to be constantly transient. The only problem is that they did not give us a great deal to love…
Fortunately, our old-fashioned Nostalgia needs not to be an escape from reality into a shadowy netherworld. There still are some places on this planet where adventurous travelers are able to rest their feet, to nurse saddle sores of a hard day, and relieve the pleasant reminiscence about the days when the world offered real thrills, as well as to directly observe those products of human spirit when slow-paced precision was a matter of pride in favor of hands-on craftsmanship.
Therefore, my dear Mr. Cato, if you are straightforwardly nostalgic toward the genuine days of automotive glory, instead of those notable fares try, for example, the more peaceful seclusion of Eastwell manor in Kent. You will be able to observe there those blithe spirits of the halcyon days of British automotive history, not only with the full extent of Rolls Royce’s splendor expressed by a spectacular Gurney Nutting Phantom III Sedanca De Ville, but – with a little bit of luck – through gentle, restrained, ultra-smooth purr of Lagonda V 12 Rapide’s engine, so incredibly flexible and capable to pull from as little as 5 mph in top speed. You know… that will be some kind of a therapeutic diversion from the contemporary slog of producing a car to fit in between the upper lower-priced car and the lower medium-priced car for the young executive family on its way up. I remembered well that even some close and dear friends from Down Under remained speechless after that miraculous waft. 
In years to come an additional opportunity for a brief, but highly emotive and melancholic contact with the automotive history, will be findable even in America. Yes, I know – there is a hard fight for survival, and cars now stand on the threshold of a new era – they will ride more smoothly, they will use less fuel, last longer, handle better, and require less maintenance. At least we were told that on a daily basis, my dear Mr. Cato. However, if economies are like cobwebs, it should be no surprise that, to extricate themselves from those webs of convolution, the people of the world over in this year and age still seek some consolation in those most peculiar places like the headquarters of the International Garden Club at Bartow Mansion in New York. French windows and a classic niche on the garden side of that stone house will be almost the perfect place for a brief, glittering romance with past perfection – a 1934 Duesenberg Model J with Victoria body by Rollston.
Duesenberg J - 1934
You know… Duesy was a car unwilling to sell those modern things like “dramatic styling”, “exclusive tele-touch drive”, “getaway push”, “thrust-boost” and “fluid torque” with “magic-circle steering”. I mean a wheel instead of a tiller. Good old Harold Ames put that in as early as 1929, when my late pa was a boy. However, we have psychology now. We do tell people that their car reflects their taste, that the GM, or Fiat look is their look. We call it you ideas. The only problem is that it looks like every other look on the road.
Well, here is a tributed toast to the old fashioned me ideas, without too many chair wormers around. Thank God, in those times, they made what they wanted, and as a result, you are constantly committing 5 of the 7 deadly sins just by looking at it. Not even to mention a whole regiment of cavalry hitched up there.
Of course, there are so many other wonderful places for a pleasant meeting on the road of Nostalgia. Just imagine, my dear Mr. Cato: Spanish moss drapes the spreading shade trees, and azalea blooms beside the pillared portico of a lovely mansion. It stirs memoirs of romantic era when George N. Pierce produced bicycles and birdcages in Buffalo back there in 1901. And then, suddenly, eruption of a wind-cheating flamboyancy, remainder of beautifuly hopeful pre-depression years – pure sensation made of fastback styling, lack of running boards, spatted rear wheels, concealed door hinges, and integral headlamps, so fresh as a everlasting memory attained at the Chicago World Fair in 1933 – one and only Pierce-Arrow Silver Arrow!
You have to see that shining miracle when spring brings those gardens into bloom… with Boswell sisters providing musical richness to a moment of eternal hapiness that can never be duplicated – a seismographic emotional response to prevailing conditions:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5e4-wN0jSI
Therefore – just imagine and enjoy . You know, if you are not there, you miss it all.
In the meantime, as always – all the best! 
Absolutely!
WW2 was the last time that Britain was on the winner’s podium–and no-one had better forget it! (We won’t let them!)
Britain/England has been at war at some time or other ( a Union Jack pattern bar of Cadbury’s chocolate to anyone who can prove me wrong) with just about every country/nation in the world. But no enemy is more popular that the Germans.
What less fortunate folks (i.e. those not born in the United Kingdom before 1955) [ Ref. Cecil Rhodes-" never forget, being born an Englishman is winning first prize in the lottery of life"]) sometimes fail to understand is that the entire swathe of British/English history is, with a few exceptions, coloured by gallant failure.
We celebrate Boudicca, who after burning London to the ground led her people to semi-extinction and 400 years of Wop rule.
King Alfred was the first failed celebrity chef.
We hail Harold Godwinson and the Saxon Housecarls who were slaughtered to a man in 1066 and first allowed the frogs in.
Richard the Lionheart has a statue outside Parliament–one of our greatest heroes (couldn’t speak English, was as queer as a three dollar bill, only spent two months in England and bankrupted the country with his constant crusading.)
Robin Hood-- a homeless mugger with a Northern Accent and poor fashion sense.
Henry IV (parts one and two). Bored English schoolchildren for five hundred years.
Henry VIII, left some of best ecclesiastical architechture in ruins and invented the Quickie divorce.
Elizabeth I, Francis Drake, Walter Raleigh–set back Spanish package holidays for centuries—and so on to to Yorktown, Corruna, Toulon, The Charge of the Light Brigade, Gallipolli, Narvik, Dunkirk, Greece, Crete, Singapore–Great victories all.
Hating the French is, of course, easy. Everyone does. They eat snails, the women don’t bathe very often, they own our electricity and water companies and their President has the hottest political wife on the planet. The Italians, build Ferraris and have the best food in the world, the Dutch and Belgians don’t bother anyone and the Scandinavians produce world-class pornography–so they are all more or less, OK. but The Germans!.
There is a Great British Tradition that no news report, sporting fixture or personal contact with the Germans can take place without a reminder that THEY LOST IN 1945!
For example-
Heinz “Velkom. Heff you been in Hambourg before?”
Me " No, but my Grandfather was here once"
Heinz “Did he enjoy it?”
Me " Don’t know. He was 30,000 feet up in a Lancaster"
The Germans don’t help. The National habit of marching into neighbouring countries has been replaced by dominating swimming pools, sunbeds and package holidays locations-- but there is a reaction. For info, see here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuIJqF8av6I
This one needs an update. History repeated itself once more, we were overmastered by the Russians.
The English-German relation is oftenly described as a relation of misunderstandings which starts on an individual level. For instance:
German tourist: "Waiter, please bring me a bloody steak.
English waiter: “Want some fucking potatoes with it?”
I do like the apparent reference to the Barnes-Wallis bouncing bomb as the Union Jack bed bounces across the pool.
For instance:
An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans in WWII.
The Englishman was wounded all over his body.
One day the Germans told him, “Englander, your arm is infected with gangrene. We must cut it off.”
The English prisoner said, “Well, okay, but could you drop it over England when you go bombing?”
The German replied, “Ja, that will not be a problem.”
A few weeks later the German tells the Englishman that they have to cut his other arm off. The Englishman says, “Well, could you drop it over England like you did last time?”
“Ja, that will be done,” says the German.
The next day the German tells him that they have to cut his leg off. Once again the Brit says, “Well, could you do the same as before?”
The German replies, " Ja."
The next day the German tells him they have to cut his other leg. “Well,” begins the Brit, “could you just…”
The German snapped, “Nein! We think you are trying to escape!.”
… and they get very mediocre mileage.
What a fascinating post from the Onion!
I see that your irony about the revisonists on this site has not only sailed over nearly all heads (minds?) but indeed thudded into the wall behind them,
Good on you anyway.