Suggest deployment gift for my son?

[Nickdfresh]

@pdf27

Nope, the idea is to wear two condoms with the chilli powder in between - thus providing instant warning should either of them break! Oddly enough this is not something I’ve ever felt the need to try myself…

Me neither! Seriously, WTF. If you’re that worried about the pox on your house, then keep it in your pants 'cause you’re macking up the wrong girls!

[Nickdfresh]

@Rising_Sun

Is this the voice of experience?

Maybe the chili powder acts as a lubricant between the two surfaces? Or, more appropriately, as a grinding agent.

Anyway, what are natural types of condoms? The sheep gut or whatever it was that Casanova used a few centuries ago? I can’t get that nowadays except on the best quality sausages, of the minced meat and offal type mystery bags intended to be grilled and eaten when cooked, not the ‘hanging from your groin and say hello to my little friend’ type. (When I was working as a railway shunter in the late 1960s and going onto the docks where all sorts of institutionalised theft and thuggery were normal, the wharfies -stevedores in US - used to pinch 44 gallon drums of sheep gut sausage skin as they commanded a decent price on the black market.)

I haven’t seen any natural condoms on my supermarket shelves where the condoms are, quite logically, placed between personal lubricants and mouthwash. I’ve noticed this while looking for razors and shaving cream, which are all that are of any use to me these days.

Sheep-skin condoms have fallen out of favor because while they might stop sperm from bull-rushing an egg, they don’t stop viruses from bull-rushing your wanker…

[Cuts]

@pdf27

Nope, the idea is to wear two condoms with the chilli powder in between - thus providing instant warning should either of them break! Oddly enough this is not something I’ve ever felt the need to try myself…

Gen up.
Tends to be SOP for those desirous of an ‘interaction’ with the dusky ladies of dubious quality that populate Buccaneers and The Sportsman’s in Nanyuki.
These troops tend to be either callow youth or longer-served depraved wretches.

[Rising_Sun]

@JR11

As regards presents, well, a bit late in the day on this case but I would tend to suggest somewhat slower read books in popular genres (horror and crime might be good) and a decent supply of hard sweets. In the alternative, a good supply of chilli (in the form of extra-strong Tabasco Sauce) might have its place - very good for the ould constipation … Best regards, JR.

It’s never too late. All suggestions are gratefully received.

[Rising_Sun]

WTF is wrong with our Army?

My boy came home on a short leave tonight and wolfed down the best beer he’s ever had.

Turns out the base is dry for his grunts. It wasn’t when I was there, even if we only got into a wet mess occasionally. As for the rest, the sergeants’ and officers’ messes were floating on a sea of alcohol.

This is not, repeat NOT, the country his forebears fought for!

[Neutral]

Guns and alcohol don’t mix, m8.

If he’s in East Timor tell him to get some Portuguese friends among the police officers there (don’t know if we still have the army there), he might be lucky enough to get his hands on some of the finest wine and food in the world.
Tell him also to keep his dirty aussie hands away from the portuguese women there (mostly teachers), mainly because they are butt ugly, we kept the beautiful ones safe at home :).

The people of East Timor are a peacefull people so your kid should have no problems, nonetheless I wish him good luck…

Cheers from across the planet,

Neutral

[Rising_Sun]

@Neutral

Guns and alcohol don’t mix, m8.

If he’s in East Timor tell him to get some Portuguese friends among the police officers there (don’t know if we still have the army there), he might be lucky enough to get his hands on some of the finest wine and food in the world.
Tell him also to keep his dirty aussie hands away from the portuguese women there (mostly teachers), mainly because they are butt ugly, we kept the beautiful ones safe at home :).

The people of East Timor are a peacefull people so your kid should have no problems, nonetheless I wish him good luck…

Cheers from across the planet,

Neutral

Thanks.

You reminded me to tell my son he’s 1/16th Portuguese and that on his father’s side his grandfather (1/4 Portuguese) and great-grandmother (1/2 Portuguese) were good friends of a Portuguese family who fled Timor in the face of the Japanese advance in WWII. I’ll see if I can find any connections who might still be in Timor.

[downwithpeace]

I’ve never served so can’t really go on experience but if he has to deal with down time were he’s idle for extended periods of time then maybe sending him a few things he read at home while bored would be useful, maybe up to date PC/Car/Tech mags or something along those lines if he had the interest, even a local newspaper if your town has one and only if the army doesn’t supply that one to the troops.