There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple. And while no one knows what is in a hot-dog, you can be pretty sure it isn’t canine. English muffins were not invented in England nor French Fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore it paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and guinea pigs Are neither from Guinea nor are they a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose. 2 meese? Is cheese the plural of chose? One mouse, 2 mice. One louse, 2 lice. One house, 2 hice? If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegitarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Why do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as heck one day and cold as heck another? When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on. You get in and out of a car, yet you get on and off a bus. When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it , but when I wind up this essay I end it? English is a silly language…………It doesn’t know if it’s coming or going!!!
You think that’s silly - get a load of these:
abid, abyd, abyde verb, prsnt. remain, await, wait; abood verb, pst. awaited, remained
abideth, abydeth verb awaits
abidyng verb awaiting
able adj. suitable
abluciouns noun cleansings
abood noun delay
above adj. superior
abregge verb abridge, shorten
accidie noun sloth, laziness
accord, acord noun agreement
achatours noun buyers
acorded verb agreed
adoun prep. below
adrad adj. afraid
afered, aferd adj. afraid
affiance noun trust
affraye verb, prsnt frighten
affrayed verb, pst. frightened, afraid
after-mete prep. the time after diner
agast verb, pst. prtcpl. frightened
agaste verb, pst. sg. frightened
agu noun acute fever
aiel noun grandfather
aketoun noun wadded jacket worn under the chain-mail coat
al conj. although
alauntz noun wolfhounds
al bifore adv. first, before everyone else, heading the procession
alday adv. daily
alderbest best of all
alderfirst first of all, to begin with
alderlevest most beloved
aldermost most of all
aleyes noun garden paths
algate, algates adv. always, all the same
alkamystre noun alchemist
Alkaron noun the Koran
alle and some one and all, everyone
allegge verb adduce, cite
English not only borrows words from other languages, it has on occasion been known to follow them down dark alleys and mug them for more words!
Besides, why shouldn’t the grammar be screwed up? After all, it’s only a wierd hybrid of Norman French (mixture of Norse, early French and Latin) with Old English (mix of Latin, Anglo-Saxon (germanic), Norse and Celtic). With a pedigree like that (and having added any vaguely useful word it came across after that) why on earth would you expect simplicity?