We’re in the grip of binge drinking mania down here. Having exhausted all the moral outrage and moral panic following their rather late discovery of paedophilia, date rape, drink spiking, and V8 emissions, the wowsers have discovered binge drinking. Apparently it’s everywhere and if it’s not stopped immediately every child born from now on will have two heads and three club feet (which is normal in Tasmania) and be in constant communion with the devil (which could be normal in Tasmania as they do have an animal called the Tasmanian Devil).
So what, you may ask, is binge drinking?
THREE glasses of wine during dinner is about to be redefined as a binge-drinking episode under the Federal Government’s new official drinking guidelines to be released next month.
In what one health professional has slammed as a message that “makes no sense at all”, the guidelines will say that having more than four standard drinks a day constitutes a binge. An average glass of wine is 1.5 standard drinks.
“That means that if a man is sharing a bottle with his wife and takes a slightly larger share, that he’s had a binge,” said Paul Haber, the medical director of Drug Health Services Addiction Medicine at Sydney’s Royal Prince Alfred Hospital.
…
A draft of the National Health and Medical Research Council (NHMRC) guidelines attracted controversy when it was released in October because it removed any difference between men’s and women’s safe drinking rates, saying that neither sex should have more than two standard drinks a day.
The former guidelines said men could safely consume four drinks, and women two. Risk was then graded according to the increasing number of drinks, with 11 or more for men, and seven or more for women, being “high risk”.
But the head of the council’s alcohol guidelines committee, Jon Currie, told The Sunday Age that when the final guidelines are released next month the two-drink limit will remain. He said the former safe limit for men - four drinks - would become the absolute upper limit.
“There’s a new section there that says on any occasion, if you’re going to set a top limit you really need to set a limit of four drinks at the most. So our definition of binge drinking will drop as well; that is new,” Professor Currie said.
http://www.theage.com.au/national/three-drinks-and-youre-out-20080614-2qng.html
I am pleased to report that I have been high risk since the age of seventeen, which means I’ve beaten the odds for over forty years. My cholesterol is below average and every liver function test I’ve ever had came up normal. Well, both liver function tests and the last one was about ten years ago, so maybe I’m dead and don’t know it and my ghost is filling up the bin with beer cans every night.
Dickhead wowser experts! Come the revolution, I’m going to give every one of them a Bundy O.P. rum (57% alcohol) enema, and follow it up with the Bundy bear, who I knew rather well a long time ago.
The term wowser — surely one of the most impressive and expressive of Australian coinages — is used to express healthy contempt for those who attempt to force their own morality on everyone. The person who abstains from alcohol (for whatever reason) is not thereby a wowser: s/he’s just probably very fit. But when s/he tries to force everyone else to do as s/he does, then s/he is a wowser. Or as C.J. Dennis defines the term: ‘Wowser: an ineffably pious person who mistakes this world for a penitentiary and himself for a warder’.
http://www.anu.edu.au/ANDC/pubs/ozwords/May_97/4._aussie_words.htm