Lol, my favorite one (but most disturbing one) is this article:
[i]#2.
A Park Bench
Late one night, a certain man was walking around Hong Kong, in the park, lonely and bored. So he did what many of the lonely and bored people on this list did, and found the nearest thing with a hole in it to fuck. Then he saw it: a park bench, with holes in it. And then he made the fateful decision to have bit of the old in and out with it. What’s the harm?
This is the harm:
Yes, that video is totally accurate, his penis got stuck in the bench. His ill-advised boning adventure soon led to over a dozen emergency personnel attempting to rescue him, while trying to hold in the Nelson Muntz style laughter brewing inside each of them.
The doctors had to use needles to drain blood from the man’s penis but, sadly for Xing, getting stabbed in the dick did nothing to stop the swelling and loosen things up, so the rescuers had to cut away the part of the bench that he was stuck to, and shipped him off by ambulance, where it took doctors a painfully long four hours to remove the sheet of metal from Le’s dong, which he almost lost.
“Ew, gross, not her. I want what’s under her. Hell yeah.”
So, yeah, from beginning to end that whole thing was one big Worst Case Scenario. All because of a single, momentary, horny lapse of judgment. You’d think that would scare people of inanimate object sex forever, but there’s at least one guy we’re pretty sure is still going strong. His name is Edward Smith and he has sex with…[/i]
Haha but it still filled me with pain.