does anyone know any WW2 jokes
Not jokes, but funny. The first one I’ve seen several references to and it may be a story that happened somewhere once. The second one is from, I think, the World at War TV series and occurred on Iwo Jima.
- Japanese and American troops sometimes traded insults from foxholes etc. On one occasion there was an exchange along the lines of
Japanese “Fuck Roosevelt!”
American “Fuck Tojo!”
Japanese “Fuck Eleanor Roosevelt!” She was Roosevelt’s wife, not young and not in the least attractive. After a pause an American voice called out “No, you fuck her!”
Both Japanese and Americans found it hilarious. They got back to killing each other later.
- Several Americans were in a shell crater under heavy Japanese fire. As they launched themselves out of the crater a shell exploded nearby and blew them back in. One of them ended up lying on his back in the crater with a terrible wound, his mid section covered in blood and his wounded buttocks somehow lying on his front. Obviously his lower body had been separated from his torso. He looked down at his wound and said “Jesus Christ! I didn’t think I was hit that bad.” He became hysterical with fear. His mates became hysterical with laughter and couldn’t fight for several minutes. Unlike the victim, they realised that somebody else or a body had been blown up by the shell and that someone else’s buttocks had landed in their mate’s lap.
aw now thats comedy plz find more
heres one I looked up, on top of Berlin’s radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to cheer up the people of Berlin. “Why don’t you just jump?” suggests Göring. lol!! hope you liked it as much as I did!
Here is one I got off the Enternet. It is hilarious if you get it.
A World War 2 pilot is reminiscing before school children about his days in the Airforce.
“In 1942,” he says " the situation was really tough. The Germans had a vey strong air force. I remember," he continues, " one day I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these fokkers appeared.
(At this point,several children giggle.)
“I looked up, and right above me was one of them. I aimed at him and shot him down. They were swarming. I immediatey realized that there was another focker behind me.”
At this instant the girls in the auditorium start to giggle and the boys start to laugh. The teacher stands up and says “I think that I should point out that the ‘Focker’ was the name of the German-Dutch aircraft company.”
“That is true.” says the pilot, “but these fokkers were flying Messerschmidts.”
Hoped you enjoyed the joke!:mrgreen: LOL hahaha thats a good one…aw you made me crap myself:confused:
LOL… Messerschmitdt as in Mess of ****? I’ve heard that one LOL
I found this one on the internet too:)
2 jewish assasins set an ambush where hitler passes at miday everyday
they have everything,guns,bombs,panzerfausts,etc
it gets to 11.55 and 1 jew says to the other,get ready
it gets to 12.00 and no sign of hitler…
they mutter to themselves and by now its 12.10
until finally it gets to 12.20 and one of the jews says to the other “he is late,hope nothing has happened to him”
Heres another 1 I found online:
FYI might have rude language(like you care)or(you do care)am all confused now just read it.
If World War Two had been an online Real Ttime Strategy game, the chat room traffic would have gone something like this.
Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.
Eisenhower has joined the game.
paTTon has joined the game.
Churchill has joined the game.
benny-tow has joined the game.
T0J0 has joined the game.
Roosevelt has joined the game.
Stalin has joined the game.
deGaulle has joined the game.
Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0JO: lol
Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got **** to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
deGaulle has left the game.
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses
T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: wtf
Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right ***** im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be an arss
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help
Hitler: o man ur focked
paTTon: oh what now biotch
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
benny-tow has been eliminated.
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt: gj patton
paTTon: thnx
Hitler[AoE]: WTF eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t
Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny~tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker
Stalin: rofl
T0J0: HAHAHHAA
Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.
benny~tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
Hitler[AoE] has left the game
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
benny~tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: fock u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is gay
Roosevelt has left the game.
Hitler[AoE]: wtf?
Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join
tru_m4n has joined the game.
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy holyhoyl****!
T0J0 has been eliminated.
The Allied team has won the game!
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bull**** u fockin suck
T0J0 has left the game.
Eisenhower has left the game.
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
tru_m4n: l8r all
benny~tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: fock u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
tru_m4n has left the game.
benny~tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
Churchill has left the game.
benny~tow has left the game.
Stalin: i hate u all fags
Stalin has left the game.
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
paTTon has been eliminated.
paTTon: o sh1t!
paTTon has left the game.
Hilarious RifleMan20 I was laughing the hole time. Very funny for because I am a Xbox Live gamer. I thought was the funniest when Patton was eliminated and nobody was even there to eliminate him!
Very good, RifleMan:)
The new shape of humor with old prejudices.
There are various versions of this one.
In the mid-1970’s a Lufthansa flight is delayed in Berlin. Lufthansa offers the passengers a complimentary sightseeing tour of Berlin to fill in the time. A distinguished British passenger in his early fifties declines the offer. The Lufthansa official tries to persuade him that it is a beautiful city and worth seeing, rather than sitting in the airport. The British man still declines. The exasperated Lufthansa official finally says
“Do you know what you’re missing out on? Have you seen Berlin before?”
The British man says “Yes. From 20,000 feet, and it was in flames.”
The other ending is “Yes. In 1944, but we didn’t land.”
Good,good now your turn Chevan;) 
:mrgreen:
Game Joke
Join A Team
Axis Side-Hitler, Tojo, Stalin
Allie Side-Patton, Eisonhower, Churchill
Patton: I am getting in a jeep.
Eisonhower: I will get in the tanks.
Churchill: I will stay back and give you…information. Thats it.
Churchill: So one attack from their western front and the other attack from the eastern front.
Patton: I will go to the Western front.
Eisonhower: Then I will go eastern side
German side
Hitler: Stalin attack their eastern front with your infantry battalion or else.
Stalin: Or else what?
Hitler: Just do it.
Tojo: What can I do?
Hitler: Go get your men and blow each other up.
Tojo: Ok!
So Tojo gets all of his men and blows each other up. Tojo is elimianated.
Hitler: Finally he is gone. He does nothing to help the Axis forces.
Stalin engages the enemys eastern front. He sees the American Tanks.
Stalin:Retreat its Pattons army.
A russian soldier: why? it is not Pattons tanks.
Stalin pulls out his pistol and shots him. Then the Russian army retreats. They get back to the Axis force base.
Hitler: Why did you retreat?
Stalin: It was Pattons tanks.
Hitler: No it was not. your stupid. troops shoot the Russians!
Stalin: lets get out of here!
Stalin has switched to Allied Side
Patton: Switch back. I hate your guts and team.
Stalin: to bad to bad to bad to bad
Patton: shutup.
Montogomery has entered the game.
Patton: No way your playing. You are horriable at this game.
Montogomery has been booted from the game.
Patton: Thats right! Oh crap watch out for that tree.
BOOM!
Eisonhower: Patton! NO! Churchill are you there.
Churchill: This is no fun.
Churchill has left the game
Eisonhower: Forget this
Eisonhower has left the game
Stalin: Finally the english freaks are gone. Were invading Hitlers base at dawn
A russian soldier: it is already dawn sir.
He pulls out a pistol and shoots him.
Stalin: I knew that you Russian coward. ATTACK NOW COMRADES!
Axis forces
Hitler: Oh crap, here they come.
A soldier right by him gets sniped.
Hitler: This can not be happing!
He pulls out a pistol and shoots himself.
German Soldier: Your a stupid little coward Hitler!
Hitler with his last breath shoots the German with a bullet
Hitler has been elimianated.
Allies win
Stalin: That’s right.
One of the russians that got shot was related to a soldier by Stalin
He shoots Stalin with his PPSH and then says
NO WE ARE THE TRUE WINNERS!
The rest of the Russians are elimianated for not having a leader.
Game Over
Yo german soilder i look all online and coldnt find that one,did you make it???
yes i did make it. i do not thank it was real good, but i could be wrong.
heh it was good because you made it all on your own,(thumbs up):)
This is from a site “Arian Wear”. The uniform of neonazies.
I actually find it hilarious!
I guess this must be Adolf before December 1941.
Who said “We shall fight them on the beaches …”?
Winston Churchill
Who said “I shall return”?
Douglas MacArthur
Who said “What the fuck was that?”?
The Mayor of Hiroshima
HA HA HA HA !!! LOL good man good.