Your proudest / stupidest / best injury

Off-Topic Off Topic
#1

A few days ago I added a broken dominant hand and sub-broken damage to the other hand (punching a CRT computer monitor in anger because that was what was in front of me when a non-computer issue provoked anger) to a broken foot from about fifteen years ago (kicking a filing cabinet drawer shut in anger unrelated to being attacked by the filing cabinet) to cracked ribs from about ten years ago (grandstanding on a kids’ waterslide to impress my missus that I still had it - whatever ‘it’ is - which apparently I didn’t).

I wear these stupid injuries with a certain perverted pride as they require much more commitment and disregard for one’s own safety than the usual type of “If I keep pushing on this spanner I might bang my knuckles on the engine block” which invariably leads to the surprised exclamation “Fuck! I’ve just banged my fucking knuckles on the fucking engine block! What fucking idiot designed this fucking car with the fucking engine right where I’d hit my fucking knuckles unex-fucking-pectedly!”

Be honest and admit to your proud, stupid, and best injuries for the amusement of all.

#2

So since your hand is broken, does that mean we can write whatever we want because it will be too difficult for you to type? or if you do type to stupid responses then youll be in pain? Wow, I feel like a boy in a candy store all of a sudden!
P.s. Pls Heal R.S., Heal, Heal!

#3

Here’s mine…

A while ago, I found that banging rocks together created sparks. I showed my friend, and he thought it was cool too. The only problem was that he got a little too exited, and smashed his finger, which caused him to drop one of the rocks. Said rock hit at the right(or wrong angle, depending on your point of view ;)) and shattered in two, one piece flew and cut open my leg, which required a couple stitches. Unfortunately for me, I saw that friend only once after that.

#4

Sounds like an interesting user-manual you have there, RS. :lol:

#5

It’s so much easier with a Ronson.

#6

Where do I start?
Generally I must admit I’m kind of prone to bone fractures myself (on the quick I recall about 8 or something). Strange to say that I contracted the major part of these fractures on my upper extremities while playing football (or soccer as the Americans would call it), a sport where you use your feet mostly.
Another remarkable bone fracture of mine (nasal bone) resulted from having a most lively controversy with about five Dutch blokes who thought it wouldn’t be a good idea if a German would have a Dutch girlfriend.:shock:

#7

Alas, handwriting is difficult (the best I can manage is clumsy capitals and then very slowly) but typing is relatively easy and it involves both hands and mostly doesn’t use the damaged part of the broken hand.

So I’m keeping my eye on the candy store, Herman. :wink: :smiley:

#8

The problem isn’t with the monitor user manual but the one that didn’t come with my brain. :smiley:

#9

Yes, I hate it when Dutch insist in you having a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend.

When I was 15 or something I was playing with an axe near my sommer house. At one point I desided to break a tree branch by the axes nonsharp side - butt. When I did it I swung my handstoo low so that the sharp edge cut the skin on my crown… I did not feel a thing, but realised something was wrong after a warm sticky liquid started dripping on my eyes. 3 stitches had to be administered in the local hospital where I had to wait in line after a poor guy who was run over by a tractor. It was an experience.
Well to make the story short, that day I became particularly interested in WW2 history and desided that 20 years later I will join a forum like ours.

#10

Here’s something worth knowing.

After putting up with some serious discomfort for the past couple of weeks I’ve discovered that wrapping a foot or two of duct tape around the offending extremity works wonders.

Stops a lot of the pain when the hand is and isn’t being used.

Which just reinforces my long held belief, born of long experience, that there’s not much that can’t be fixed, at least temporarily, with duct tape and or fencing or thinner wire.

#11

Most folks say Moses brought commandments down from God, but I think it was a box of duct tape…:slight_smile:

#12

I think you are correct.

There is much evidence for your opinion.

It holds the universe together.

It is safe for every purpose, under all conditions.

Its worth is recognised at the highest levels.

It has endless uses around the home, including avoiding the nuisance of sewing and trussing up roasts with string and skewers and toothpicks before popping them into the oven.

]

It also has a timeless beauty in its ethereal silvery form which somehow makes even the most unattractive object shine once duct tape is is stuck to it.

#13

Yuuuhooo! The only thing I am thinking of right now is …
how it will feel when she takes that tape off her melons!

#14

Errr, for you or for her?

#15

:mrgreen:
THAT was a good one!!!

#16

My best(!) injury was when I came off my bicycle in 2001. Not quite sure how I did it (a big chunk of time is still missing), but the net result was landing face-first on tarmac at about 20mph. 16 stitches in my face was the result, which took about 2 hours, and they kept me in overnight.

Getting home the next day was fun. My glasses were smashed, so the only way I could find my way back was to get a bus as they were the only things big enough to recognise. When I did, my housemates took one look at me and offered to call me an ambulance!

#17

My first born of the allegedly male type, celebrating 20 years on this vast planet, laid his new (secondhand) motorbike down a couple of days ago at a busy intersection.

He survived unscathed, with only modest damage to his overpowered two wheeled conveyance inadequately controlled by a mentally underpowered rider.

I, on the other hand, having been summoned by the fruit of my loins to assist him in recovering his conveyance and transporting it whence it might be repaired, fell over the f ucking ramp attached to the bike trailer.

I left on the road surface as a temporary memorial to my lapse in concentration a very nice imprint of the part of my knee where the impact apparently forced blood through the pores, and my jeans. It was not unlike the Mitsubishi emblem, but with four rather than three elements.

Mitsubishi may have come to mind as, X rays having demonstrated that I did not break my kneecap as the doctor feared, I cunningly used my daughter’s automatic Mitsubishi to go in to work today to check whether things had festered in my absence, it being beyone me to drive my own manual charger as I can’t bend my knee let alone depress a clutch pedal in the magnificent red beast.

Alas, despite my best efforts, it turns out that after inserting my stiff left leg carefully into the driver’s footwell there is a point of irrecoverable inertia where, having given up my grasp on the door and upper sill, I fell into the seat and, rather unintentionally, ripped something else in my f ucking knee.

That is not what pisses me off, as for the remainder of today I have thoroughly destroyed my knee for a while in subsequent ingresses and egresses from my daughter’s automatic Mitsubishi.

What really pisses me off is that my son, and unfortunately my heir, falls off his motor bike in front of heavy following traffic and does no more damage to himself than to scrape a bit of colour off some of the very expensive safety gear I bought him in an ill-considered moment when I thought he was worth preserving, but I go to help him rescue the bike he damaged by inexperience and incompetence and I end up with a f ucked leg which is going to put me out of action for anything up to several weeks. Meanwhile he’s walking around perfectly uninjured.

#18

Boo!

(Extra words here for the length counter… >_<)

#19

Agreed! the benefits of youth are wasted on all the wrong people. I do wish you a speedy recovery, please refrain from kicking the above captioned auto, ramp, or Son. (It’ll just take longer to heal) Beer therapy may also prove useful.

#20

Oh dear! :lol: