How did Bush com back from Iraq?
I ran.
:D:D:D
he he
This is a good place for this funny piece.
Conservatives and Liberals
Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
The two most important events in all of history were:
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The invention of beer, and
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The invention of the wheel.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer, and the beer to the man.
These facts formed the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
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Liberals
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Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered , it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery.That’s how villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ’s and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men.
Some noteworthy Liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs, the evolution o f the Hollywood actor, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide all the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.
Over the years, Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
Modern Liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard Liberal fare.
Another interesting evolutionary side note:
most Liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are Liberals.
Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboy s, firemen, lumberjacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the Liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for
nothing.
Here ends today’s lesson in world history.
It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above.
A conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history.
You conservatives are such “Macho, Macho Mens!”
Such as those limp wristed liberals John Wayne, Charlton Heston, and Ronald Reagan?
And cowards who didn’t join up, like Jimmy Stewart, Lee Marvin, and Charles Durning?
:rolleyes:
Like Wal-Mart does?
Republican Priorities- Wal-Mart Reveals, New York Conceals
With the Corporate Media focused on the PR event of the Republican National Convention in New York City, voters would be better served by looking at the actions and policies of the Wal-Mart Corporation to see Republican values at work in the American economy and how voters are impacted as workers, consumers and taxpayers. Republican policies are the same as those of the Wal-Mart Corporation’s when it comes to economics issues.
Few Americans realize how closely aligned the economics interests of the Wal-Mart top management and the Bush Republicans truly are when it comes to government policy. Wal-Mart is probably the largest single economic engine driving manufacturing jobs out of the United States to third world nations like China, India and Mexico. (China’s legal minimum hourly wage is 31 cents and many Wal-Mart suppliers pay less.) They long ago abandoned their “Buy American” slogan in their drive to lower prices regardless of the economic impact on the American nation. It is the belief of these writers that the politically costly embrace of the Bush White House to the outsourcing of American manufacturing jobs can be traced in part to Wal-Mart’s activities in the political arena.
Wal-Mart operates the largest company PAC (Political Action Committee) in the nation. In the past 2 years, they donated $1.3 million in political donations. A total of 81 percent went to Republicans. This percentage was the strongest Republican tilt of any of the top 25 Corporate PAC’s! Additionally, there were huge donations of campaign cash by top Wal-Mart executives, stockholders and suppliers to Republicans.
Wal-Mart pays some of the lowest wages in the retail sector. Kerry wants to raise the minimum wage to $7 from the current $5.15. The increase would require Wal-Mart to move towards paying their employees a more reasonable wage. We do not find the Bush Republicans to be strong supporters of increasing the minimum wage. Wages and household income have actually been declining under this Bush Administration for huge numbers of Americans. The minimum wage has not been keeping up with inflation for decades! Outsourcing and low wages are both Republican and Wal-Mart policies.
Health care policies are another example of their mutually distorted priorities that are hurting the American nation. Wal-Mart covers less than half the company’s workers in their health care program. The program is not very comprehensive and is very expensive to the individual employee. Taxpayers are often picking up the bill for these uninsured or underinsured Wal-Mart workers because the show up in emergency rooms without the ability to pay the emergency care bills. This health care issue contributes to rising health care costs for all consumers and other employers who do provide good employee health care benefits! A recent PBS program on Wal-Mart had an elected official in California revealing that Wal-Mart workers use 40 percent more in taxpayer provided government services than employees of other similar businesses.
Kerry believes in using the private sector with governmental assistance to help solve the uninsured American health care crisis. Kerry’s health care proposal would encourage employers to provide comprehensive health care coverage with government financial help in providing funding for catastrophic health care costs. The current Wal-Mart health care coverage is so poor that it is unlikely that the government catastrophic assistance would kick in unless Wal-Mart upgraded their program. Wal-Mart seems to like the Bush Administration approach to the uninsured American health care crisis, which is to ignore it. Letting the working poor suffer and die is not a workable policy for these writers or most Americans. (See NWSource.com for many of the details above)
Wal-Mart’s purchasing policies contribute to our exploding trade deficit. These deficits undermine our long-term national security and economic health. The Bush Administration has no policy for addressing these deficits any more than they have for addressing the national debt.
The Bush Administration has cut the overtime pay for working supervisors and many other Americans. These policies have financially benefited Wal-Mart and hurt already poorly paid Wal-Mart workers. Wal-Mart has been repeatedly sued for not paying overtime pay when required by law. The financial loss to workers has been estimated in the hundreds of millions or more.
The Bush Administration has made it increasingly difficult for workers to unionize. Wal-Mart is rabidly anti-union. Most labor leaders in America would cite Wal-Mart as the most anti-labor union large company in America. Kerry would make it easier for Wal-Mart workers to seek union protection.
Here are a few more Wal-Mart numbers of interest. The current CEO Lee Scott has received an average pay of $23 million between 2000 and 2003. This was up from the previous CEO David Glass average pay of $4.5 million between 1995 and 2000. Under Bush, the rich get much richer while household incomes have declined 3 years in a row.
The average annual cost of a 200 worker Wal-Mart store to taxpayers has been estimated by Stan Cox in “Wal-Mart By The Numbers” at $420,750 in school lunches, food stamps, health care, housing, etc. (See NotOnTheBox.com for more on the details above and more)
http://www.democratictalkradio.com/demvoices-04-Wal-Mart_GOP_conceal.html
Okay…How’s this?
This one is a little different. Two different versions! Two different morals!
OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well-fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well-fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green.’
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group singing, ‘We shall overcome.’ Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper’s sake.
Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share .
Finally, President Obama approves the EEOC draft from the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportional number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed, when he was in office, from a list O f single-parent welfare recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him because he doesn’t maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house , now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2008!
So Mike, are you just going to post piece of shit chain e-mails and waste everyone’s time in this thread?
Told ya guys so…LOL
What else would you like me to say…How I think Obama sucks? You seem to do okay with cut and paste in some threads where you dont add to it.
Firstly, the last line was a cowardly dunk by an intellectual coward knowingly spewing unsupportable crap!
Secondly. I’d like you to tell me WHY you “think Obama sucks.”
You seem to do okay with cut and paste in some threads where you dont add to it.
Yes, well, that’s why I try to use verifiable sources of major fact-checked news outlets…
And I do usually add my $.02, but yes, sometimes I don’t right away…
I dont like his views on gun control, health care and I dont like the people he hangs with. You can tell a lot about a man by who his supporters are. To top it off he has No experience…from the time Barack Obama was sworn in as a United State Senator, to the time he announced he was forming a Presidential exploratory committee, he logged 143 days of experience in the Senate. That’s how many days the Senate was actually in session and working. After 143 days of work experience, Obama believed he was ready to be Commander In Chief, Leader of the Free World, and fill the shoes of Abraham Lincoln, FDR, JFK and Ronald Reagan. 143 days…and you want him leading us?
I never judge a man by his skin color and never will, I judge a man by his actions and I dont like Obamas actions. On the same note, there will be a lot of people/cattle voting for him just because the color of his skin and that is just ignorant.
Now…What has he done to gain YOUR vote?
edited spelling
I dont like his views on gun control, health care and I dont like the people he hangs with. You can tell a lot about a man by who his supporters are. To top it off he has No experience…from the time Barack Obama was sworn in as a United State Senator, to the time he announced he was forming a Presidential exploratory committee, he logged 143 days of experience in the Senate. That’s how many days the Senate was actually in session and working. After 143 days of work experience, Obama believed he was ready to be Commander In Chief, Leader of the Free World, and fill the shoes of Abraham Lincoln, FDR, JFK and Ronald Reagan. 143 days…and you want him leading us?
I never judge a man by his skin color and never will, I judge a man by his actions and I dont like Obamas actions. On the same note, there will be a lot of people/cattle voting for him just because the color of his skin and that is just ignorant.
Now…What has he done to gain YOUR vote?
OTHER MORAL OF THE STORY: If grasshoppers didn’t exist, the surviving ants wouldn’t have anything to bitch about.
So, grasshoppers are necessary to make the ants feel good about themselves and their failure, even after the ants have been in power for two terms, to eradicate the spiders who took over the neighbourhood, despite the ants being strong on law and order; stacking the Supreme Court; altering the law on torture; running rendition programs; and yet still failing to stop the spiders. Who have nothing to with grasshoppers, or ants, as arachnids ain’t insects.
Given that, why would anyone vote for an ant, when they can’t even deal with grasshoppers and then let the spiders in? 
this election is now about the battle for oil. drilling here in the states. the war in Iraq is winding down. no longer a front page story here. its now replaced by high fuel costs. that’s the issue facing the democraps including Osama who say NO drilling. now American’s, from both sides are mounting a furious attack against Pelosi and her storm troopers for refusing to drill. over 78% of americans want to drill here and NOW!!! with jobs and careers at stake Gerneral Pelosi is now allowing D’s in both the senate and congress to go along with it.
Osama came up with this totally idiotic statment saying the crisis can be solved if americans keep their tires inflated and engines tuned up. what an insult. how stupid can you get??? his plan, and the democraps, is for the future. screw now. they don’t give a rats ass about the very same poeple who will vote them out of office in NOV.
[tire gauge???](tire gauge???)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzZNP4tTfV0
he also told americans recently here we now have 57 states in the union. 57 states Gracey??? you gotta be fuckin kidding
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrsBKGpwi58
they still teach this in grade school !!!
its little wonder they lose elections when they come up this these kind of candiates. sound like i hate him??? im to old to hate anyone. but he missed his calling. he would make a much better hollywood star than prez. and I don’t care for the nuclear football following this clown around.
its rumored that the Israelis are going to flatten Iran. I read somwhere they are awaiting the out come of this election. if Osama wins they claim Iran will pay the cost. so will he have a war from the get go??? he’s an outright threat to national security.
now I know you McCain haters are gonna ramp up here for a counter attack. be my guest. MCCain was not my candidate any way. but he is for drilling and knows an enemy when he see’s one. my opinion…
Good post namvet…Evidently, Barack is not aware that “tune-ups” went out with electronic ignition and computerized engine controls – in about 1984. This brings up the question as to whether or not he knows anything about automobiles… Any vehicle 1996 or newer has onboard computers that constantly monitor and adjust the entire engine and exhaust system therefore not requiring tune ups. A lot of 1985 to 1995 vehicles have a more limited ability to do the same thing. A lot of the new spark plugs, ignition wires and injectors are actually built to last the life of the car.
Can anyone confirm that Barack Obama has ever owned a car? Can anyone confirm that he has ever operated a tire gauge or that he even knows how to operate one? 
Here is a typical Obama supporter… http://americandigest.org/mt-archives/fish_barrel_bang/leave_barack_al.php Hey, This couldn’t be our own…no it couldn’t be
good one mike !!! hahahaha im posting this excellent find dude thanks. hehehehehe:mrgreen::mrgreen:
This is an amazing video of Barack giving a speech when his teleprompter goes on the blink – he is unable to form a coherent sentence; struggling to think of something to say as he repeatedly sneaks peeks at the teleprompter screen locations hoping that his script has reappeared.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgV-e3bFjcE
This is a riot, to watch the Obamassiah trying to think of something to say all on his very own, and failing miserably, he cant do it. Now we know why he is dodging any sort of free-form debate with McCain.
If this was President Bush or McCain you can bet your sweet ass the presstitutes would have been all over this.
CHANGE?
saw it.
ah de de de dee ah de de that’s all folks !!!
Osama: no we can’t !!!
you are right on the money, obama is the medias darling and wouldnt even have made it this far if he wasnt a black guy I think he’s playing the guilt pitch. " if you dont vote for me, your racist"