If you’re looking for love on this site, I could post my wife to you. Well, I could ship her in a container, with another three containers for her shoes.
She’s not conventionally good looking, but given time you can bear to be in the same room as her. She can’t cook, and even if she could she wouldn’t. She doesn’t do anything around the house, except sit around it, without being in the least decorative. And those are just her good points.
I offered her for sale on eBay, without realising that eBay doesn’t allow auctions of living things. eBay wouldn’t accept my objection that my wife didn’t contravene that rule. eBay also said I had her in the wrong category, but I thought she fitted perfectly into early 20th century collectable steam shovels.
We’re not living together at the moment, due to eBay sending some ill judged emails to her.
With a bit of luck, there’s no hope of a reconciliation, so she’s on the market.