The Little Known "Great Emu War"

I am sure there are some people wondering whether there is any to weaponise an emu. Probably not. Most interesting post, JR.

They’re already weaponised.

Their beak is about head height for an average man, and it’s a worrying thing when you face one close up and it looks you in the eye as its apparent target.
Also nasty toes.

But not as nasty as cassowaries.

As for emus, a mate of a mate had a couple of pig hunting dogs in his car on the way to shooting some innocent wildlife when he hit an emu on the road. The emu came through his windscreen, as in removed the windsreen on its way into the car, whereupon the dogs became somewhat overexcited and the emu also seemed rather excited in the confined space. End result was the driver escaped shortly before the dogs escaped in time to let the damaged emu wander off in its own time.

No wonder, all there is in Oz are Spiders, snakes, and things that want to do Humans harm, Like Fosters Ale. :wink: :slight_smile:

Spiders aren’t too bad, apart from the funnel web which evolution and or the Creator foolishly equipped with fangs that can pierce a human fingernail, which seems a bit unnecessary given the favourable ratio of a huge expanse of readily penetrable skin to fingernails and toenails. Then again, it’s a handy advantage if some stupid human pokes a finger into the funnel web’s domain.

Like countless other urban houses, the house I lived in for 30 years until we moved to the new house had plenty of red back spiders under and around it, as does the new house after we’ve been there for the past five years. We leave them alone and they leave us alone. Unlike what happens to the male spider when mating, as described in the link. Termites, which are common in my capital city, are more of a risk by destroying the timber in a house than the risk of being bitten by a spider.

Snakes are pretty much okay as long as you can see them and leave them alone, although I’ve been a bit careful in the garden lately in the shrubby parts (we’re on the urban fringe where snakes are a lot more common) as it’s mating season and they get a bit testy when they’re on the hunt for a bit of sex, to which I can vaguely relate from memories of my distant youth, although I never bit anyone just because they startled me.

Given a choice between our land based nasties and yours, such as a grizzly or polar bear or a moose, I’m happy to stick with ours, if only because I can kill a spider with a shoe and a snake with a spade or length of fencing wire, which ain’t gonna do much in my favour if I slap a bear or a moose with a shoe or a spade or length of fencing wire.

It’s Foster’s Lager, not Ale, and it’s not beer but something between Budweiser and beer. All you need to know about it is that one of our corporate geniuses managed to go broke after his brilliant corporate takeover of the brand. Going broke making or selling beer in Australia requires either (a) no management and or marketing skill or (b) crap beer. He managed both. :shock: Until he arrived with his grand plan to take over the world with Foster’s Lager, the previous management had been doing very well for decades with their crap beer. It took a genius with an MBA to destroy the brand. Much the same as has happened to countless other successful brands under the management of overpaid wunderkind the world over.

It’s been a long time since I’ve used a Foster’s Joke so forgot it was a Lager. I have had occasion to consume Foster’s, and true to your description, it is a poor Beer. But. We in the americas have a contestant for Worlds worst Beer like substance, goes by the name of “Lone Star”

Not sure if it’s available here. Could be hard to find among the elebenty eleben local and imported brands stocking our shelves these days.

Anyway, before I upset myself by tasting Lone Star and discovering that the USA has managed to produce a beer significantly worse than its deplorably low standard of Bud, Coors, Miller and every other mainstream “beer” which confirms that even Pepsi with a touch of alcohol (or just neat the way it is presently made) would be a major improvement in American brewing, I’m going to focus my palate on American solids where I happen to be now, and terminally bored to the extent that I’m watching the overweight, fat arse, botox, bullshit everything Kardashians on television. :(:(:frowning: (Yes, I am bored senseless!)

Anyway, what the USA has delivered to me here is this yumfest:

If the USA wants to export its culture and bring peace and prosperity to the world, that menu has to be a great start. Apart from the fking vegans, vegetarians etc, who have no understanding of how peaceful a cow becomes when it turns itself into steak, and no appreciation of the mystery that allows a cow to turn vegetarian grass into yummy steak with yummy mushroom sauce with yummy vegetarian potato chips with yummy crisp salad with yummy olive oil and balasamic vinegar dressing which is all yummy vegetarian food which is what the fking vegans etc think is so great and which I agree is great with a bit of well fed deceased cow. And without which deceased cow the f**king hippies wouldn’t have their leather sandals and wristbands etc.

I believe that it’s somewhat difficult to find Lone Star Beer outside of Texas due most likely to some obscure paragraph contained in the Geneva Conventions. America has Turned Beer from the very Hearty, and tasty European styles they used to produce before WW II. This was changed due to Women workers that replaced Men in the Factories preferring the lighter Beer Like liquids, and the need to provide the Troops with something reminiscent of Beer but not strong enough to leave them unable to Shine boots, or mop Floors. So we have Hitler to thank for one more thing. However, there is one silver lining to the weak Beer cloud, The Companies that process commercial Spaghetti now have a place to send the water in which the Pasta has been boiled, providing additional income. Sent to the Breweries, this pasta water is used to make Miller, and Schlitz, and Hamm’s with the addition of Alcohol, and Carbon dioxide for some fizz. Todays Hipster youth wouldn’t know a real Beer if they were struck in the Head by one at some pointless rally or other. More steak, more Burgers, all the better for those of us who appreciate Old fashioned living.

I think there is a Foster’s Ale in the green ‘oil can’ here, as well as the lager in the blue. I don’t mind Fosters on tap once in a while, I used to go to a place that had it very cheap considering is was an “import”, but the place long since has closed. I know the faux-Aussie themed Outback Steakhouse probably sells the most of it in the states…

With the popularity of Shiner Beers Bock, Lone Star came out with Lone Star Bock a couple years ago. Spectacular failure. (Based on my trial consumption. :mrgreen:)

But, Lone Star quit selling it pretty quickly.

Google shows you are correct. Haven’t seen it and don’t know if it’s sold down here, or just sold in countries with no standards for beer. :wink: :smiley:

Surprising that there’s a connection between selling a cheap crap beer and the joint that sold it failing. :shock:

Reverse problem with US beer in Australia.

Used to perplex us how your teenagers were so strong that they crumpled a beer can in their hands in films.

We never managed it. Some injuries caused trying it.

Later, after our industry caught up with yours with light weight cans, we worked out that our steel beer cans which were small versions of WWII 44 gallon drums designed to survive being dropped from aeroplanes, couldn’t be crushed by any of your film stars either.

I expect that nobody thinks it’s possible to bring this thread back on topic (and especially me as I’m guilty of dragging it off topic at the outset), but here is how it’s done by merging beer back into emus, and then a nifty segue back into the Great Emu War. This is why we mods are paid the big bucks!

We are very happy that you survived the experiment :slight_smile: