Who hates America / Americans?

Off-Topic Off Topic
#121

Ha…so tipical when you run into trouble you start with the agressions.:rolleyes:

Rising Sun:

  • Nodoby has blocked your older account

  • If you had any inconvenience with your account you need to contact the admins, ww2admin and Gen Sandworn, in order to get the trouble fixed, you should not open a new account, thing that is clearly forbidden by the rules.

  • Actually you were “sold out” by the unequalled stile of posting, the “wrote a lot and say nothing” wich you can do so easily. The IP only confirmed our suspicions.

  • I am blocking this account now. If there is a trouble in you “Rising Sun” account ( thing that I honestly doubt) the Administrator will solve in the shortest amount of time.

_ I am passing the offences in your post…by now. I hope this is the last time.

#122

This was e’d to me by a rather cool American cousin of mine :smiley: :

[b]Dear Citizens of America,

In view of your failure to elect a competent President and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy), as from Monday next.

Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

  1. You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up “aluminium,” and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

  2. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour’, ‘favour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix “ize” will be replaced by the suffix “ise.”

  3. You will learn that the suffix ‘burgh’ is pronounced ‘burra’; you may elect to spell Pittsburgh as ‘Pittsberg’ if you find you simply can’t cope with correct pronunciation.

  4. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up “vocabulary”). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

  5. There is no such thing as “US English.” We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter ‘u’ and the elimination of “-ize.”

  6. You will relearn your original national anthem, “God Save The Queen”,
    but only after fully carrying out Task #1 (see above).

  7. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. November 2nd will
    be a new national holiday, but to be celebrated only in England. It will be called “Come-Uppance Day.”

  8. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you’re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.

  9. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

  10. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

  11. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric immediately and without the benefit of conversion tables… Both roundabouts and metrification will help you understand the British sense of humour.

  12. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling “gasoline”) - roughly $8/US per gallon. Get used to it.

  13. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call french fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called “crisps.” Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with malt vinegar.

  14. Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

  15. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as “beer,” and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as “Lager.” American brands will be referred to as “Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine,” so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

  16. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors as English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in “Four Weddings and a Funeral” was an experience akin to having one’s ear removed with a cheese grater.

  17. You will cease playing American “football.” There is only one kind of proper football; you call it “soccer”. Those of you brave enough, in time, will be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American “football”, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a
    bunch of Jessies - English slang for “Big Girls Blouse”).

  18. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the “World Series” for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable and forgiven.

  19. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.

  20. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due, backdated to 1776.

Thank you for your co-operation.
John Cleese[/b]

#123

I’ll settle for a one-for-one swap of Brown for Bush actually… George is practically royalty anyhoo…

#124

Crap, this means he has german ancestry, just when I thought we carry enough historical baggage :mrgreen:

#125

With our most congenial high regards, to Her hindness the Queen, (mind you that Elton John doesn’t care to share that title,)
We the People of The United States of America take great pride, and care in electing carpet baggers, and ner’ do wells of all sorts as our leaders. We distract them while we tell everyone else to take one step back.(that is how we really do it you know)
We have noticed that there have been fewer really prime candidates this century, so using our superlative technological resorces,(note: no U in resorces) to isolate, and clone D.N.A. from our off shore hero Guy Fawkes, the one, and only man who had the right idea about government.His clones will serve as president for the forseeable future. (mind that there is a U in future, with one to spare).
Pres. Fawks will be appointing another technological fellow to be the Secretary for foreign Affairs,one Mr. Hydrogen. Who while being ever so busy, has on occasion made diplomatic trips to a couple of places.
I do agree with you Bravo , Americans are not the best at running the Government they are in charge of, today is the primary election in my state, and of the 800,000 people in my local area, only 200,000 or so are expected to vote.
I have said in other posts that it is a terrible waste of responsibility, and freedom to ignore the civic duty of voting, while in other countries, there is no vote, or one party, or vote at risk of one’s life. A sad, and terrible waste. But if we are invaded by someone, we can rest assured that McDonalds will insure their destruction before any real harm can be done.

                                                        :Take particular note:

                                The above posting is made in good humor,(if not good taste,,)
                                 Do Not take it seriously, as that action may cause wrinkles, frowns,
                                                       and talking to one's self.
#126

Very good! :slight_smile:

One point, though, Guy Fawkes was a part of a conspiracy and there were a number of conspirators, so he wasn’t the only one. Their motives were more to do with religeon.

I thought you might have been more impressed by Cromell?

I hadn’t realised that you place an ‘E’ on the end of ‘Future’. :wink:

p.s. if you look down the bottom of the letter, you’ll see that it is signed: John Cleese.

As I had said, my American cousin, with whom I have a humerous raport, e-mailed it to me yesterday - bless her cotton socks. It’s just a little tongue in cheek humour. :slight_smile:

#127

Okay, thats it, your cousin, and John Cleese are our next administration…I thought it was a great piece too,I like Cleese’s work. Every citizen aught to read it,and catch a clue about life in a republic.
And as for Guy Fawks, he was the only one I could think of at the time. :slight_smile:

#128

Cleese is a genius! He has much ministerial experience in government as well:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=i5Jyu6eioZ4

#129

Nick, thack you for that.

I saw that clip when it was first aired in, or around, 1970. We were all rolling about laughing. Amazing that it hasn’t lost any of its impact.

#130

It’s the same in Britain, apathy.

People take for granted those things which others fought hard to acquire. We will probably wind up with yet another landslide victory, or defeat, depending on ones point of view, come the next general election. It’s usually as a result of a low, electoral turn-out. It’s never good for any democracy.

#131

Well, we have just had the primary election to determine the candidates for each party having two or more possibles. These winners will go to their parties’ conventions in the summer, and the parties will choose the nominees for President, and V/president. to be candidates in the general, November election.
The current situation is that most likely, Barack Obama will be the man of the Democrat party, and McCain the pick of the Republican party.(although its a long way to November, and anything can happen,) Many people view Obamma as the savior/Hero, while others consider him to the the long awaited Anti-Christ. McCain is thought to be a softy middle road Republican in name only, (here referred to as a “Rino”) by some, and a good solid choice by others,
I will be delighted if this will galvanize the electorate into going to vote this Nov. It would be great to see 70-80% voter turn outs. (it may help if they can vote with their tv remotes, at least we’d have a chance of getting them to vote during commercials)

#132

Very good! :smiley:

What are your thoughts on Obama being an African-American, do you think the people of America ready to accept a black President?

#133

#134

I think America in general is okay with the idea.
That he is half Black is probably going to help him along some.Of those who do not want him as President, it is because of his near socialist ideals rather than his color. Added to the fact that he has little experience in high level government, and not much to show in accomplishments in his present office.

#135

Guys what is a difference who will the next president of America?
Half-black or female?The much more important matter - what force is behind him.
The main His task - he should defend the Israel by all of possible means, does he not:):D;)
As well as the right of sexual minorities.
Coz only in this way we could be calm for fate of Democraty in the world:):wink:
That’s why we love the America/Americans for:)

#136

A cousin of mine, whose opinion I value, lives in Chicago. He’s met and conversed with Obama on several occassions. He has also stated some of the weaknesses that you mention, but feels that they alone ought not impede his progress.

I have glimpsed through some parts of his book ‘The Audacity of Hope’ and can see the message. I feel his problem would be the size and complexity of government and its civil service. Unless he has the full backing of his administration he’ll have a task on his hands for sure.

Chevan - you are incorrigible! :smiley:

#137

Obama may have some trouble if he seems not up to the task of the large Govt machine here, that is sure, but as you say, that may not matter at all, if enough people like him, and are comfortable with him, then it wont matter much at poll time.Many conservative Americans like him as well, especially if given the alternative of Hillary.
The groundswell seems to be pushing Hillary aside tho, but there is alot of time left before November, so it could still go either way.
The interesting thing about America is that anyone born here, a native citizen, may run for President. and that its perfectly possible to have someone in office who has had no experience at all in the political arena. Even our good friend Chevan were he a born American, become the President.And he would be as good as many we’ve had.
The usual drill is to run for local office, then move up to national offices, Congress, Senate, then the Big house. But there is no rule about it, so who knows. Perhaps actors are the best Presidents.
The upshot is that Obama will most likely be the next Prez. O’ the United States, lets see what he’s got.

#138

Brilliant as always my friend,
A little secret Chevan, it really doesnt matter alot who is the President, as he is but one of 3 parts of the Government that has to agree on anything that may happen. we didnt want a king, or emporer, so we set up the gov. this way to keep power from settling in one place. The Pres. is the face of the Gov. the one who in matters of international business, and statecraft, speaks for the nation. Watch the movie “King Ralph” that should give you an idea about Government…

#139

Oh, what a unique thing about America. I’ll open you a secret. It is very much the same in most of other countries across the world.
What’s more.
If I am not mistaken Austrian laws allow citizens of foreign origin who were not born in the country to take any office in Austrian authorities.

So stop descriminating foreigners. I’ll be the Ukrainain governor-president of the USA and Chevan will be my vice-president.

#140

I think Arnold would beat you to it though, lots of people would like him for President. but since the Constitution does not allow foreign born people in the Presidency, that’l never happen. But if it changes, you are welcome to run. (Chevan says he wants to be President though,:slight_smile: )
One small point of language, in English, one can discriminate against a person, or thing, as well as toward a person or thing, so the proper phrase is: stop discriminating against foreigners. other wise we wont know which you mean.:slight_smile: