WWII Related Humor.

World War II General WWII Discussion
#81

:mrgreen:Some German History

1871 - Bismarck founds modern Germany.

1890 - Bismarck sacked, warmonger Wilhelm II takes direct control.

1914 - Germany starts World War I.

1914-1918 - Germany kills millions upon millions of people.

1917 - Germany force peace loving Americans to enter war.

1918 - Germany loses World War I.

1920’s - Germans try democracy.

1933 - Germans reject democracy, allow Hitler to take power.

1939 - Germany starts World War II.

1939-1945 - Germany kills millions upon millions of people.

1941 - Germany force peace loving Americans to enter war.

1945 - Germany loses World War II.

1946 - Germans whine about lack of food, America gives billions in food aid to feed them.

1947 - Germans whine about crappy economy, America gives billions in Marshall Plan aid to rebuild German economy.

1948-1949 - America puts ass on line and risks WWIII to save a few Berliners from Soviet hordes.

1949 - Federal Republic of Germany (West Germany) established.

1950’s - America spends billions to defend West Germany from Soviet hordes.

1950’s - German ‘economic miracle’ occurs while America keeps watch on Soviet hordes.

1955 - NATO formed to protect West Germany from Soviet hordes.

1960’s - America spends billions to defend West Germany from Soviet hordes.

1960’s - German students protest war in Vietnam and American civil rights.

1963 - American President John Kennedy makes “Ich bin ein Berliner” speech.

1970’s - America spends billions to defend West Germany from Soviet hordes.

1970’s - Germans form the Marxist terrorist group Red Army Faction (RAF).

1970’s - Leftist German guerrillas burn, loot, and plunder much of West Germany.

1980’s - America spends tens of billions to defend West Germany from Soviet hordes.

1980’s - German leftists bitch about Pershing II missiles.

1987 - American President Ronald Reagan makes “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall” speech.

1989 - Gorbachev tears down Berlin Wall.

1990 - German Reunification.

1990’s - America spends tens of billions to defend Germany from Islamic hordes.

1990’s - Germany stands by as ethnic cleansing occurs in Balkans.

1993 - Germany joins European Union.

1995 - Americans send troops to Bosnia as Germans watch from the sidelines.

1997 - Germans finally send troops to Bosnia.

1998 - Hard-line, left-of-left socialist come to power under Gerhard Schroeder.

1999 - American’s lead air war to save Kosovo as Germans watch from the sidelines.

2001 - Schroeder offers solidarity to America after 9/11 attacks.

2002 - Schroeder bashes America to distract voters during election campaign.

2003 - Germany sees rise in anti-Americanism after several decades of poor treatment from America.

AND YOU THOUGHT THE FRENCH WERE A BUNCH OF UNGRATEFUL BASTARDS?:mrgreen:

#82

PEACE LOVING Americans:)…Nice shortest joke i’ve even heard:mrgreen:

AND YOU THOUGHT THE FRENCH WERE A BUNCH OF UNGRATEFUL BASTARDS?:mrgreen:

Bet , they will first who would start to cry about American Occupation, right after the USA lose their world’s dominant :)Just like Eastern Europeans suc…rs now cry about how terribly USSR suppresed them:)

#83

As a joke: real good (-:
If meant serious one could feel really offended as a german…but in spite of common opinion, germans do have humour!

#84

Germans vs Russians in the trenches in the hot summer in the woods.
German perspective
G1: Hey look at the Russians!
narrator: Russians are exposed on top of their territory and are dancing some sort of ritual dance flailing their arms in a crouched position.
G2: Thats the weirdest thing i’ve ever seen
G3: Hey 2 of them are coming this way!
G1: Is this some sort of new tactic?
narrator: they raise their guns and aim at the dancing and approaching Russians.
G1: Don’t shoot! They are unarmed!
Narator: 2 of the Germans get up comically and run to the Russians to join the dance. The 2 Germans turn around and come back dancing with the Russians.
G2 and G3: Holy shit!!! Bees!!! Run!!!
narrator: The Germans and the 2 Russians run and jump into the German trench avoiding the overpassing bees. The rest of the Germans are then laughing. The Russians and the Germans are severely stung but are treated. The two Russians are captured.

This is a true story, i just don’t recall it all.

#85

:D:mrgreen:

And who was a narrator?:slight_smile:

#86

They’re the words to a very popular WW2 British song named “Colonel Bogey”. It’s actually a prewar march, but the words cropped up during the war and became very popular indeed. It was also used as the theme tune to “Bridge on the River Kwai”.

Incidentally, it is generally thought that the bit about Hitler is probably true…

#87

the Narrator is a German who was there. The joke is from a book called Red Blood Snow: Memoirs from the eastern front. Fantastic book, it should be a film!:eek:

#88

Dudes! My new sig is an animation of this!

#89

lol, That’s awesome, where did you get that sig.

#90

I found it on a Cybernations alliance forum. I was really stunned when I found it…

#91

Yeah, well, please remove it again. It’s 1.1MB and we do have a small number of people on dial-up connections. There are no specific rules on how big a sig can be, but as a rule of thumb if it’s likely to slow down page loads we ask people to remove them. This very definately will.

#92

It’s a variation of a joke that’s been around for years, only some added graphics. I’ve seen it circulated in emails or in other online forums…

#93

You gotcha.

#94

The New American Panzer!

image.12.jpg
image.12.jpg800×598 91.9 KB

#95

The R&D department in the States is awsome.

#96

Mobile American Warfare comes of age!

Do budget cutbacks have this much of an effect?

Reminds me of John Hill, speaking of American soldiers in the Ardennes…

“…many German soldiers were amazed at the flippancy with which American troops abandoned their vehicles, and one was even heard to express that the U.S. Army had as many TRUCKS as it has footsoldiers!”

Still…it’s a far cry from a time when George S. Patton Jnr was the ONLY person that could drive a tank in the entire United States! Georgie would certainly understand a lot of modern Americanisms in military affairs, including budget cutbacks…

Personnally, I thought it was the new Russian Army’s urban assault vehicle…

#97

Um, it’s “Canadian (Forces) tail gunner training,” and it’s hardly from WWII…

#98

I should probably PM this to you, but as nobody is looking I’ll post it here. :wink:

You’ve missed the point, being a Yank and naturally focusing on the ass end. :wink:

The real action is at the other end.

It’s Canada’s new jet engined ATRAV.

(ATRAV = All Terrain Running Away Vehicle :D)

It was designed and, in the photo, is test piloted, not very well, by Herman the Second, Canada’s only person qualified to pilot an ATRAV which is powered purely by the gas expelled by the pilot which increases in proportion to the pilot’s proximity to the enemy. :smiley:

It’s a shit of a system, but it works. :smiley:

#99

I’m not sure but I think RS is making fun of me and I don’t like it. Personally I thought my joke on the new American Panzer looked funny. I will endeavour to try and find more interesting material for next time

#100

But, it is Canadian forces in that pic, and it is a fairly recent one…That’s why it is dumb, and he should make fun of you!